From Griner to Djokovic to Jimbo, 2022 was a crazy ride
2022 was an unbelievable sports year.
Georgia won its first national championship since the Iranian hostage crisis.
Penn's 2019 men's swimming team member won the 2022 NCAA women's 500-yard freestyle title.
The year 2022 was crazy. Shaquille O'Neal didn't know if cryptocurrency was real. Cryptocrypty would be the official currency of 2022.
Georgia wins its first national championship in 41 years. China orders its concentration camps to suspend sneaker production and start manufacturing fake snow. Australia deports an unvaccinated Novak Djokovic after he refuses to wear a hazmat suit during his first-round match at the Australian Open. The Bucs try to deport Antonio Brown after taking off everything except his pants during a game against the Jets. Saudi Arabia decides to invest $500 billion in a golf tour.
In February, Billy Napier announces Florida has signed 12 players, 12 nutritionists, 11 video analysts, 13 strength coaches, 27 analytics geeks, 34 recruiting specialists, 43 quality control assistants and no defensive coaches. Phil Mickelson lets slip that the people bankrolling the LIV Tour are "scary motherf-----s". Russian authorities arrest WNBA star Brittney Griner after claiming they found O.J. Simpson’s gloves in her luggage. Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen advise 100 million viewers to buy FTX and bet on the Rams to cover in a Super Bowl commercial.
Cleveland trades five draft picks and its soul to Houston for Deshaun Watson. Joe Biden announces he is signing with the Lakers. Lia Thomas won the NCAA women’s 500-yard freestyle by 397 yards to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Title IX.
Augusta National turns down the LIV Tour’s $5 billion offer to move the Masters to Riyadh Country Club. 18 Texas A&M recruits make the Forbes list of America's 100 richest people. NCAA Committee on Committees forms an exploratory committee to look into making a few NIL rules.
Rich Strike wins the Kentucky Derby by three lengths over Lia Thomas. Greg Norman announces he has signed Dustin Johnson, Sergio Garcia, Byron Nelson and Sam Snead. NCAA Committee on Committees votes to form a committee to address whether it should break early for lunch before deciding to create an NIL reform committee.
The Walton family buys the Denver Broncos and signs Russell Wilson to a $242 million contract to be a Walmart greeter. Arch Manning, the nation’s No. 1 football recruit, commits to Texas. Texas A&M signs Archie, Peyton and Eli Manning to NIL deals. Charl Schwartzel beats Gene Sarazen by two strokes to win the inaugural LIV tournament and its $73 million first prize.
The grand opening of Florida's $85 million football facility is delayed. Negotiations to free Brittney Griner break down. Chase Elliott wins the Quaker State 400 after 23 other drivers drop out because they can't afford to pay $5.09 a gallon for gas.
The FBI raids Mar-a-Lago and finds the U.S. nuclear launch codes and a vintage Herschel Walker USFL bobblehead in Donald Trump’s golf bag. The NFL suspends Deshaun Watson for 11 games and the Browns sign Bill Cosby to fill in at quarterback until Watson can return. Congress passes the Inflation Reduction Act which limits Texas A&M to signing only 10 football recruits. CDC says it will allow Novak Djokovic to play in the US Open if he gets vaccinated and gives free tennis lessons to Dr. Anthony Fauci.
Magnus Carlsen accuses Hans Niemann of cheating. NCAA Committee on Committees votes to take a nap before debating whether to form a committee that will try to figure out if they should get a cut of NIL payments. Pentagon will divert $2 billion in Ukrainian defense funds to Miami to help develop a secondary that can hold Middle Tennessee State under 45 points.
Two Ohio anglers are accused of stuffing their catches with lead weights to win the Lake Erie Walleye Trail tournament. Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis sends 50 Miami players to Martha’s Vineyard. Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen file for divorce. Brady agrees to take custody of Sam Bankman-Fried and the Bucs' offensive line.
Vanderbilt beats Florida 31-24. Cormani McClain, the nation's No. 2 football recruit, announces he is signing on to the LIV Tour. Russell Wilson is replaced as a Walmart greeter by Brett Rypien. NCAA will allow the winner of the upcoming World Cup to compete in the Division I women’s soccer tournament.
The U.S. government trades Viktor "Merchant of Death" Bout to Russia in exchange for Brittney Griner and a bag of pierogies. Texas A&M boosters offer Jesus a load of gold, frankincense and myrrh if he'll sign with the Aggies, but he has bigger plans.
