Happy 7/25, Hawkeye fans! Raise a glass to all the touchdowns to come

You know what that means, Iowa football fans. This is the day commemorating the targets set for Hawkeyes offensive coordinator Brian Ferentz by the athletics director who no longer works at the school, Gary Barta.

The Designated Performance Objectives for the 2023 season include an average of at least 25 points per game and a minimum of seven wins, including regular season and a possible bowl game.

Let’s say Iowa scores 24 points per game, wins the Big Ten West, and goes 11-3. How would you like to be the new school AD who tells head coach Kirk Ferentz “Great season, Coach. By the way, you must now go home and tell your wife that her oldest son is out of a job.”

I’d offer a different scenario, in which the Hawkeyes average 30 points yet win just six games, but that sort of thing is reserved for science fiction or the Pac-12.

Iowa averaged a paltry 17.7 points last season, and that was with six defensive touchdowns. Cornerback Cooper DeJean had three TDs to tight end Sam LaPorta’s one, and LaPorta was an NFL second-round draft pick.

Why, defensive lineman Joe Evans (fumble return for a touchdown, safety) outscored LaPorta, 8 points to 6. If Evans outscores Hawkeye tight end Luke Lachey this season, something has again gone horribly wrong.

Last season was squandering a precious commodity. You had the nation’s No. 2 defense in both yards and points allowed per game, but you lost at home to Iowa State and Nebraska and went to the Music City Bowl.

Putting that defense in the Music City Bowl was like holding a royal wedding at Hawkeye Downs.

When something like that happens, you amend the offensive coordinator’s contract with … targets the team should reach just by falling out of bed?

Eighty-five of the nation’s 131 teams averaged 25 points or more a season ago. The Hawkeyes will join them this year. It’s not that high a number, fans.

Iowa’s schedule, you see, is dressed for success. Utah State and Western Michigan at home are designated gimmes no matter how they’re sold to us. Iowa State on the road is no soft touch, but the Cyclones are regrouping after a rough 2022.

Then there’s the Big Ten slate, about as favorable as Iowa could reasonably want. No Ohio State, no Michigan. Penn State on the road is a toughie, but you can’t expect to avoid one game like that.

Then it’s Michigan State and Rutgers at home, and the six West foes. In this final year of there being an East/West split in the conference, this is the one to pick the West apart.

Four West teams will have new coaches. I think Wisconsin, Nebraska and Purdue made really good hires in Luke Fickell, Matt Rhule and Ryan Walters. But in the words of Ringo Starr, time takes time.

The Nov. 4 game against Northwestern at Chicago’s Wrigley Field is a virtual eighth home game for Iowa. Hawkeye fans will snap up tickets, and the Wildcats’ program is drearier off the field today than it’s been on the field the last two years.

Last year I thought the 7.5 over/under number on Iowa regular-season wins was a surefire winner for “over” bettors. I felt that way all the way until the Game 12 Nebraska-Iowa game was underway.

This year, it’s 7.5 again. And it’s a surefire winner for “over” bettors. Really. Get your money back from last year’s misstep and add a little more to it. Add a lot more to it.

The annual preseason predictions of league media will be announced this week. The last two seasons the picks to win the divisions were Ohio State and Wisconsin.

However, the 2021 champs were Michigan and Iowa. Last year, they were Michigan and Purdue.

So ignore the silly poll and whatever else comes out of the Big Ten football media days Wednesday and Thursday. Focus on today, 7/25, and something to which we can all relate:

Striving to reach modest goals.