Rugby World Cup 2023: What has Ian Foster actually achieved as coach of the All Blacks?

The hope that the players will forget everything they were told in the shed and just play some rugby like we know they can play.

But it doesn’thappen. Not under this coach.

We knew Saturday’s performance against France was coming. We knew it was coming and we couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

We knew it because we’ve spent four years watching the All Blacks get gradually worse and Ian Foster have less of a clue every time he sends a team out there.

First-ever loss to Argentina; first series loss to Ireland; first loss to Argentina in New Zealand; first time the All Blacks have lost by 28 points; first time the All Blacks have lost a World Cup pool game. What’s next? First loss to Namibia?

What has Foster actually achieved in his four years in charge? Apart from taking one of the most feared sides in world sport and turning them into the rugby equivalent of the Fijian ski team. Is he building towards something? No. Is there any method to his madness? No.

Some Foster-loving pundits are saying that fans shouldn’t panic. We lost to a good French team. In Paris. Everything will be okay. But they’re missing the point – probably intentionally, because they’re not the sharpest knives in the drawer. We’re not panicking. We’re angry. As fans, we deserve better than what Foster and his mates have dished up for four very long years. A lot better.

I’ve watched every All Blacks game since he took over, and I still don’t know what Foster’s rugby philosophy is. I don’t know what he’s trying to achieve. Unless it’s “dump more than a century of All Blacks legacy in the khazi”, he’s failing dismally.

Case in point: Cam Roigard. Quality halfback. And the only reason we didn’t lose to the Boks by 35 or even more at Twickenham.

Was he in the team to play France? Of course he wasn’t. Finlay Christie got the nod. Foster’s reasoning? “Fin has a bit more experience.” Only because you bloody gave it to him! Not because he’s a better halfback than Roigard – as he clearly demonstrated when he came on against France. If you’re not a better halfback than an exhausted Aaron Smith, you shouldn’t be on the All Blacks bench. It’s not rocket science.

Where are our world-class props? Where was Ethan de Groot? Where are our No 7s? We used to be famous for our conveyor belt of world-class No 7s – now we’ve got one who only plays because he’s captain, and a couple of others who may as well put Josh Kronfeld’s scrum cap on backwards, given their lack of vision and ability to be somewhere important when it matters. Come back, Mark Carter, all is forgiven.

And why, oh why, are we kicking all our ball away? Beauden Barrett said we won the first-half kicking duel. Whoop. De. Doo. I feel so much better knowing that.

Also, Ian, pick a first five-eighths and let him play first five-eighths. And pick a fullback (Will Jordan, anyone?) and let him play fullback. This Mo’unga/Barrett charade is getting very annoying. And put Damian McKenzie on the bench. He may actually have done something to stem the All Blacks’ second-half implosion. The bench you selected was as much use as roller skates in a scrum.

The French match was simply the latest of a long run of frustrating, annoying, embarrassing performances by what used to be the best rugby team on the planet.

But there is hope. We still have very good players. Not as many as we used to have because Super Rugby is now simply a breeding ground for average players who look better than average against defences who don’t really care.

Also, this is Foster’s swansong. He’s going. Scott Robertson is coming in.

And just as many of us predicted an instant downturn in fortunes when the out-of-touch muppets at New Zealand Rugby appointed their mate Foster, I’m joining those in predicting an instant upswing in fortunes when he’s gone.

Angus Morrison is a Kiwi sport journalist working in Britain. He was a former sports editor at Wellington’s Evening Post newspaper.