Ten reasons why we adore the Cheltenham Festival

From the whispers to the mighty roars, Chris Wilson gives ten reasons on why four days in March bewitch racing fans.

THE MORNINGS

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it takes on added significance during the Festival. In packed hotels and Airbnbs throughout Gloucestershire, this is the time for stargazing over fry-ups and mugs of hot tea.

This is the time for Accas and Placepots and wide-eyed debates about whether or not Shewearsitwell is a Grade One horse masquerading as a handicapper in the Pertemps. It is at the breakfast table that the game begins. Like a high-powered daily briefing in the City, only with sausages and small blue pens.

THE WHISPERS

Steve the Cabbie, Nico de Boinville's chiropodist, that chap from Cirencester who drinks paint – everyone has a tip at Cheltenham. The whispers are usually hot air, but few things in racing rival that sense of collective triumphalism – like you’ve achieved a spectacular heist against the Establishment – than when a betting coup comes off. Mahler Mission for the four-miler, you say? Where’s my wallet?

THE VIEW

Teddy Roosevelt once remarked of the Grand Canyon: "You cannot improve on it". It's a line which resonates deeply with those in thrall to the sweeping vistas of Cleeve Hill and the green, steep gradients of Cheltenham's historic incline. If that sounds corny, then so be it.

THE CELEBS

From members of the Royal Family to bit-part players in Bradford Alhambra's sell-out production of Snow White, Cheltenham is a smorgasbord of the A- to the Z-list of celebrity. Following Zara Phillips’ every move in the Cotswolds has now become a ritual for many, if you like that sort of thing.

THE FASHION

Or, rather, the lack of it. Their laissez-faire approach to attire unquestionably sets Cheltenham apart from its rather more aloof brethren within the sport. Yes, there will be tweed – lots and lots and lots of tweed – but this is a gig where anything goes. Savile Row or Sports Direct? The choice, happily, is yours.

THE START

The battle cry when the tape snaps free for the Supreme is quite unlike any in sport. The thunder comes deep from within. This is not a roar of celebration, but one of anticipation.

The CHELTENHAM ROAR ��@CheltenhamRacespic.twitter.com/DhopVeEZ8r

— Racing TV (@RacingTV) March 15, 2022

THE VILLAGE

The Vitamin G served within the hubbub of noise and colour that is the Guinness Village is up there with the stuff pulled from any hostelry in Ireland. The queues will be long but, as Arthur Guinness has always reminded us, good things come to those who wait.

THE JUNGLE

Teetering upon their little boxes, bookmakers look like futuristic demi-Gods as they tower over the scrums of punters, their giant boards blinking red and orange in the descending gloom. It all feels a little ridiculous, but the raw scrimmage between layers and players is perhaps the ultimate Cheltenham staple.

THE CENTAUR BAR

The unrivalled meeting place after racing, when the joint sways merrily along to good, live music. The dancefloor will be matted by used betting slips and ripped-up newspapers by then, but Sweet Caroline will never have sounded so good (so good) – especially if Facile Vega, Jonbon and Constitution Hill stick to their end of the bargain on Tuesday.

THE END

And then suddenly, once Langer Dan surges clear in the Martin Pipe, it's all over. But not really. The bookmakers have already priced up for next year. The hotels have already been rebooked. The journey has already started. There's no such thing as an end of Cheltenham, only a new beginning.