The formula needed for the Bulls to win the NBA
As the title says, a Chicago Bulls championship can happen this season.
(This is not a typo—please keep reading.)
The Las Vegas betting odds on our beloved Bulls winning the championship this year are in the stratospheric range of 150-1.
"Not likely" would be about the kindest way to put the team's chances of winning the championship this year, but not to worry. Your friendly Chicago Star sports correspondent has compiled this straightforward, easy-to-follow recipe for producing this most unlikely championship.
Follow along closely, read all instructions, and add the proper ingredients as indicated. You will soon see fellow powerhouse, talent-laden squads like the Denver Nuggets (last year's champs), Boston Celtics, Milwaukee Bucks, Phoenix Suns, and Lebron and the Lakers will all be chasing us from behind.
First, start with a nice big bowl of good health. None of the following ingredients work unless we have "the container" to mix them in. So, a remarkably injury-free season becomes critical if the winning recipe is to come to fruition.
Now, add in the main ingredient, Zach LaVine. LaVine takes the next level step and becomes a top twenty NBA player and a top three. A legit MVP candidate. A breakout superstar. Admittedly this is a quantum leap of rather largesse proportions, but not one devoid of reality, with Levine possessing incredible athleticism, explosiveness and jumping ability. Add in his acrobatic drives to the basket which could become legendary and the formula is there
Main ingredient number two? DeMar DeRozan. Envision him defying father time and continuing to be a consistent 20-point plus scorer. DeRozan realizes his time is running short in the NBA and he has never won a title. Double D has the leadership ability and locker room respect to motivate, inspire, and elevate some younger, more inexperienced players to unforeseen heights.
The third main ingredient, Nikola Vučević' has it easy. He doesn't need to be "special" for the Bulls to win the championship. Just continue his consistent scoring, defense, rebounding and, most importantly, passing.
The three main ingredients are now in the bowl. Now comes the fun part.
Surprise—youngsters Patrick Williams and Coby White blossom into legit NBA stars. Don't laugh; this can happen, and hey— we never said this would be easy. The two have shown inklings of their breakout potential in their past few years with the Bulls, but let’s say the young kids burst out big time this year. White becomes the dynamic, charismatic lead point guard we have been waiting so long for, while Williams starts pouring in buckets like the 2nd coming of Kevin Durant.
Now we're getting somewhere. The recipe is taking shape, but it must still be championship-level tasting.
Let's add some incredible physical play off the bench from the old and new. Veteran Andre Drummond (definitely the old) and rookie Adam Sanoga, fresh off leading Connecticut to the national championship (definitely the new), play so well off the bench that they become known as the "Beastie Boys" and provide the Bulls with that mean, formidable physical inside presence needed to win championships.
Now we're talking!
Sprinkle in a little bit of Jevon Carter and Torrey Craig, two veterans picked up during the off-season who happen to fit like a glove and provide great chemistry as well as scoring off the bench, and just a little dash of Chicago's very own Ayo Dosumo, who has had his moments of brilliance —and now we are nearing ultimate greatness!
Why stop when we are on a roll? Let us say Alex Caruso continues to be the bothersome defensive pest he always has been, and then when you least expect it, Caruso makes a big basket at a clutch time to win some massive games. Caruso plays so well that young kids throughout Chicago start shaving their heads and wearing bright white headbands in honor of this unlikely star.
Top off this championship recipe with brilliant coaching from the perpetually GQ Billy Donovan, the steady presence of assistant coach and hall-of-famer Maurice Cheeks, and maybe some surprise outputs from guys like Dalen Terry or Julian Phillips— and voila!
An NBA championship is ours!
Note: This is a delicate recipe. All instructions and ingredients must be followed. If not, and things get mixed up or out of proportion—or the bowl breaks— You may have to start over again next year.
But there you have it—the recipe for a Chicago Bulls 2023-24 championship.
