How Are You Preparing For the Coming Belgian Grand Tour Win Emergency?

There is a possibility that Remco Evenepoel might win the Belgian Grand Tour. Remo is in the overall lead in Vuelta a Espana. Evenepingoels is not predicting an Evenppoell victory. He has four more stages to burn off the last remaining wisps of fuel in his tank. He dangled off back today and saved another embarrassing loss by somehow willing his tire into deflating inside the final 3km. His tire designation earned him a s.t. designation. Cian Uijtdebroeks is preparing himself for the possibility of a Belgian grand tour win.

There is a Belgian Grand Tour win and all Belgian Twitter friends will be gloating about it. If you have Belgian friends, you should answer their calls when they want to talk about what happened. Belgians are modest folk and don't gloat overtly. They live in a small, pleasant country full of mostly tall,pleasant people. They don’t have a lot to globble about.

Belgium is a small country. Its roads are narrow and the roads for bikes and cars are not charming. The road closures and road traffic jams are caused by cyclists winning grand tours. Evenepoel or someone else who fails to win the Tour de France should reset Belgian expectations. If Wout Van Aert wins the next Tour, there will be a separate celebration. It's like the parades that happen every day of the year in Disneyland.

Remco is a rider who is going to be in the top three in this year's Tour de Belgium. He will be priced according to his performance last year. Remco won't finish first overall, but he will finish in top 3. The rider will still be on 120 Belgian people's teams. The price is based on the previous season's performance. It's like the Dallas Cowboys. They are popular in betting markets.

Cian Uijtdebroeks should cancel all subscriptions to American cycling broadcasting. He should create a Cian Cijteboeks Mispronunciation Bingo Game.

Go to the Classics to see Remco play to his home crowd before he moves to Monaco for tax purposes. Tweet or blog about where Remo ranks in the annals of Belgian Cycling. Buy Belgian beer at the grocery store and learn how to make frites and mayo. The event is unpredictable and we will try to pass on whatever we hear as quickly as we can.