How I Bet 73% on MLB Baseball

The haters are going to hate me for this one. Baseball fucking sucks, there is nothing entertaining about it. The playoffs are cool, but after opening day, baseball is simply too long and boring to get into. I can't even watch the games. The pitch clock was the best thing that happened to baseball, and I still can't get into it. Maybe it's because I have extreme ADD or the sport just fucking sucks, and everyone knows it. 

It was early July, I was still recovering from the Miami Heat getting steamrolled by Denver, and I needed something to take my mind off the loss. Some people see therapist, some people use drugs, I sports bet (responsibly of course). The only problem was I didn't know what sport to bet on. Golf is fun, but it's one of the hardest sports to bet on. You can't rig it, there's no refs, no line movement, so it's hard to find an edge. So I went to my group chat and asked them "what's the play tonight" and within 5 minutes four different people said "Yankees ML". I knew I was going to win before the first pitch. The Orioles ended up winning 14-1 and that's where my baseball run begun.

You see I am the fade king. If everyone is on one side, I am going to fade you every single time. Shit, my mom can give me a play and I would fade it. It's not my fault, I didn't make the rules, I just play the game. Everybody bets sports because they think they have an "edge", I know a kid who can name every single player, on every single college football team and he'll still bet 35%. The edge is never what you know, it what Vegas knows, and it's our job to figure that out. Once you realize that stats, and all that other bullshit means nothing, you will become a much better sports bettor (as long as the sport is rigged).

The sports betting industry was valued at 81 BILLION DOLLARS in 2022, and is expected to hit $167.5 BILLION by 2030. Sports betting isn't even legal in all 50 states, and still they're raking in almost $100B per year. The "NFL Script" memes were hilarious, and over exaggerated, but they were also true. You see, the players and coaches are innocent. There is no player or coach besides Paul Crew who would throw a game on purpose. However, the refs on the other hand, they are the directors of the movies that we watch week in and week out. Just like going bald, or finding out that WWE is fake, once you accept it, life gets better. 

You see I could tell you exactly what I'm looking for when I place my bets, but then you wouldn't need me anymore. So I'm going to keep it to myself, but what I will do for you is give you my Twitter handle (@nickymokess) so you can tail me. 

32-12 in the month of July (73%), Big Cat is tailing me, why aren't you?

This shit ain't a fluke, it's what I do…