Parramatta Eels NRL premiership curse opens door for North Sydney Bears

Can the Eels break their premiership drought before the North Sydney Bears?

Has their curse become so entrenched they could be usurped by a team that doesn’t exist?

These are the questions being asked after Parramatta commenced 2023 with back-to-back losses, a predicament that all-but guarantees their notorious era of frigidity will stretch in to a 37th year.

Sure, diehards will claim there’s plenty of time to steady the ship for another grand final tilt, but with a looming row of crunch games and the Mitch Moses contract stalemate, navigating there will be like extracting a wedgie through the eye of a needle.

And if you think otherwise, let me remind you what we’re dealing with here.

In a world of Russian aggression and geopolitical unrest, Parramatta’s drought is the one constant we can look to for stability.

Spanning countless governments and iPhone releases, it has vitalised The Matty Johns Show with bottomless Nathan Hindmarsh jokes and entertained us with the hunt for The Next Peter Sterling, a battle within a battle that has discarded so many halfbacks you can claim 10c a pop on collection.

Despite agonising dalliances as grand finalists in 2001, 2009 and 2022, Parramatta’s sorrow is as part of the furniture in our society as death, taxes and reality TV narcissists ‘speaking their truth’- and that’s why they could be beaten to the silverware by the Bears, or even more unlikely, the Gold Coast Titans.

For those uninitiated, the Bears title drought extends all the way back to 1922. Of greater note; they haven’t featured in the NRL since 2002.

Since being cancelled by Manly after the collapse of their dysfunctional Northern Eagles joint venture, the Bears have existed as a boutique reserve grade side embodying a reinstatement bid that’s high on pluck but low on realism.

After years of campaigning without success, many believe the most appropriate avenue to Bring Back the Bears now lies with either a Perth-based amalgamation, or rugby.

Reports emerged across the weekend of the brand potentially fronting a Pasifika club in a new 20 team competition, however it remains unclear if this was fair dinkum, or just the NRL fulfilling its obligation of punking Greg Florimo twice annually.

Nevertheless, I’ll be backing them to salute in September before the Eels- and if you think it’s deluded to list Parramatta below a thought bubble in premiership betting, consider the western Sydney club doesn’t operate within the usual parameters of reality.

Whether cheating the cap and finishing last, bricking the unlosable 2001 grand final or the wilful decision to release Reed Mahoney, Parramatta is an organisation where the inexplicable and the supernatural is considered business as usual.

Just look back at the record books; their opponents were disqualified in the 2009 Grand Final and they still lost. They’ve shown once they can be pipped at the post by a ghost, why not again?