Mizzou Football Revue: Die Hard, Cigars and Terminally Online Alumni

The transfer portal opens next week and a lot of players are probably going to leave Mizzou. The Revue is not the place to discuss the transfer news. It is a place for watching college football. The team is playing Arkansas. They won the game. There will be plenty of time to talk about the transfers in the future.

Mizzou Football Revue is talking about Die Hard, Cigars and Terminally Online Alumni.

Die Hard is a Christmas movie. John McClane is traveling during the holidays. It perfectly sums up Mizzou's season finale against the Razorbacks. Bruce Willis is funny and lovable in the movie, and the villain is charming. The movie is kind of boring for the first act, but once it gets going it's an instant classic. The plot is dragged out. Menno likes the game plot. He would be excited and terrified if a big boy drove his blood pressure up for a football game. Alan Rickman’s Hans Gruber is the most charismatic villain in a movie and he's a stalwart of charismatic villains.

Eli Drinkwitz took "smokin' that Hog pack" to the next level. Mizzou is 6-6 and is playing a game against Arkansas. The team is trying to clinch bowl eligibility. Mennonite fans love Arkansas and their team. They are excited about the game. It's always good to get the hogs riled up. This week, Minnese fans are celebrating with cigars.

Mizzou Football Revue's Disrespectful Play Index features a video of Mekhi Miller's punch on Arkansas' defense. The winner is chosen by the audience. The categories are as usual. For the rest of the season, the winner will be announced.

Mizzou Football Revue is focusing on Die Hard, Cigars and Terminally Online Alumni.

Mizzou Football Revue is about Die Hard, Cigars and Terminally Online Alumni.

How much did his teammates help him? (0-5).

Mizzou Football Revue is celebrating the Mizzu football team.

Miller caught a pass from Brady Cook and ran for the extra yards. The play is difficult, but impressive. Hudson Clark chased Miller after the catch. The defense didn't try very hard to stop Miller. It's not clear if it would have worked. Mizzou won the game. They are now playing in the Cotton Bowl. Their next game is against Texas.

Mekhi Miller made a crucial play for Arkansas. His teammates helped him a lot. He celebrated after the game with Luther Burden and Armand Membou. He got a grade of 9/15. The celebration is the most quick-witted celebration I've seen this season. It's Fernando Rodney’s signature archery celebration mixed with the poise and hubris of a Lewis and Clark statue. Miller goes from dome sliding across the turf to posing for a Michelangelo within two seconds. This celebration got him an even 3/5. For the inverse, he got an 8/10.

Brady Cook was named the most valuable player of the season.

Eric Beisel has come back to Most Terminally Online. He has the codes and he's declaring war on Michael Scherer.

Scherer leaked the Maty Mauk video. He found the receipts.

I'm torn between "Tweet through it" and "log off".

Mizzou Football Revue is about the Mizzu football team.

He will probably get a better job.