Georgia Tech Football: Snarky Preview
Join us for another Tech primetime game as the Jackets host the alleged* university of North Carolina for this year’s Homecoming game. It’ll be Tech’s third game against a ranked opponent this season and first at home, giving us an opportunity to see the impact of the Hyundai Effect in its full glory.
* Yes, this is a joke about an NCAA scandal from like 13 years ago. No, they will never get any quarter from mockery for it. Not on my watch.
Tech enters this game on the heels of a truly deflating loss at the hands of a mediocre Boston College team. The Jackets continue to be among the most Coastal of former ACC Coastal teams, arbitrarily beating functional teams and even more arbitrarily losing to bad ones with seemingly no trend behind it all. (Well, except for one: they’ve alternated losses and wins with every game so far this season. So if that somehow continues, the world’s funniest path to bowl eligibility is still in play.)
uNC, meanwhile, wouldn’t know anything about losing to mediocre teams this year. Like actually they don’t, because their sole loss this season came last week to what we previously assumed to be the worst team in the ACC and maybe the worst team in any power conference. That’s right—the Tar Heels found a way to flop against a 1-5 Virginia team whose sole win was over an FCS opponent.
The Tar Heels are led by their star quarterback, Luke Maye’s Brother, who will either be a top-3 pick in the NFL draft or get indicted for fraud with no plausible outcomes in between. Place your bets accordingly. Annoyingly, he just got his best receiver back from NCAA purgatory, because the same organization that arbitrarily took away Tech’s last ACC football title over $312 of clothing THAT WAS RETURNED WITH TAGS INTACT also decided to even more arbitrarily ban Tez Walker for a chunk of this season—but, this being the NCAA, not for long enough to prevent him from going up against GT. Their coach remains Mack Brown, whom nobody can confirm is still truly human at this point after all of the life-sapping postgame handshakes he has administered over the decades.
uNC enters this game as a clear favorite over a Tech team that’s trying to find a stable enough footing to build a foundation. It isn’t likely to end happily for the home team, but stranger things have happened. And unlike all the arbitrary things mentioned in this preview, that isn’t an arbitrary statement. Between GT’s hyper-chaotic win over MIami or uNC’s bizarre loss a week ago, far stranger things have happened to both of these former Coastal Division adversaries in the month of October alone. At this point, what’s one more, right?
